Happiness

I am scared of being happy.
I do not let his song spread
Through my insides- I do not
Let his infectious touch moisten my skin.
When somehow, Happiness seeps in
Through all the reluctance and refusal-
He warms my frozen heart, thaws it
And then the ugly scars- from years of
Failure and rejection come daunting back.
They bare their fangs and guffaw.
And Nostalgia, riding her black stallion-
Slowly makes her way through to my head
And she shows me gory images of darkness.
She rescues Hope from the cobwebbed dungeons
And sets him free- And Hope runs wild-
A madman, setting the entire body afire
Readying it for activity- and failure, again.

Forgive me- I know you will not-
But my wintry world is all I need.
I agree the storms never subside-
But again, nobody hopes they will, either.